Yet today puts me in a new demographic bracket. I move out of 25-34 and into 35-44. This implies some kind of measurable (or desire to measure) difference between me today with a label of 35 vs. yesterday with only a 34. I'm just not feeling it. Sorry to disappoint all the marketing-types out there.
This birthday was rather strange for me though. It seemed filled with contradictions and a mix of feelings both good and bad.
For the most part, I treat my birthday pretty much like an ordinary day, but I usually have something I'm looking forward to. Today, however, I didn't have any plans or expectation for any sort of acknowledgment--much less celebration. This was disconcerting in a way I didn't really expect. It made the day feel somehow even less than ordinary. For most of the day I couldn't decide if I couldn't shake the feeling or if it was how I wanted to feel.
I think today was just a reminder that my life actually is very different than it was a year ago. I have a lot less certainty and stability than I've been used to and I'm still trying to find my way. But right about when I was feeling most unsure, things took a turn toward the familiar. I ended up going out to dinner with Lissa. When I got home, I had cards in the mail from her mom and her sister. I have a Facebook wall full of birthday wishes. I received calls and texts from still other people. So on this day when I was feeling trepidation over how my life has changed, it was great to be reminded of how the best parts of it haven't changed at all. Thanks to you all!