March 5th, 2004

damage control

Last night I was able to talk to the friend I feared I had emotionally wounded. I had spent pretty much the whole day yesterday feeling like my chest was caving in and swallowing me from the inside out. Fortunately, the person has not shut me out--a relief indeed.

Thinking through it logically, I should not have worried so much about being shut out, but the possibility of it was unsettling nonetheless. I rule my world with logic, but a strong emotional charge can sideline it. This was more than enough to affect such a response in me. Thus, a worry strong enough to manifest itself physically ensued.

So anyway, I tried the best I could to resolve the damage I had done. I can't "fix it," per se, but it is important to me to put forth my best effort to attempt to reconcile the situation.

I can't undo what I've done. I have altered the dynamic of the relationship. There's just no way around that. The good news is that I don't think I've left emotional scarring.

So now it's just a matter of figuring out where to go from here...pick up the pieces and see *if* and how they might fit back together. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. Only time will tell what the result will be. All I can do is try my best to make it a positive one.
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